« Miles »

Birth is an opportunity to transcend. To rise above what we are accustomed to, reach deeper inside ourselves than we are familiar with, and to see not only what we are truly made of, but the strength we can access in and through Birth. –Marcie Macari

It’s funny as I try and remember things about labor. It seems like a hazy dream. I truly only remember certain things, like my husbands voice encouraging and challenging me to press forward, like my midwives touch of embrace as if they we’re taking a hold of some of the pain and enduring with me.

The lighting which was dim and peaceful. The whispers of my midwives in the living room and the prayer I continually repeated in my mind which I wish could have been much more eloquently thought out but went more like “Jesus, I need you, please don’t leave me.”

6 hours after laboring my husband and I finally met our first son Miles. I am not even sure there are words that are worthy to describe the moment. All I can remember was that it was all worth it. It’s precious and surreal.

Whenever a woman is in labor she has pain, because her hour has come; but when she gives birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish because of the joy that a child has been born into the world. John 16:21

I wanted to share my story this time around. I am so thankful to my dear friend Brittany Moncrief of Moncrief Photography for waking up at 1 in the morning and photographing my birth. Luckily, she lives 5 min from my house and made it easy for her to get to me quick. I believe she told my story just the way i remember it. I am thankful for her friendship and talent.

I am a blessed woman.

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; therefore my heart exults, and with my song I shall thank Him. Ps. 28:7

9 days ago i encountered the finale of my pregnant journey. I came to the end and it was time to bare down and face labor. For me, natural labor has become a deeply sacred event in which i seek as a victory to claim. I don’t desire glory or prize for it….but rather it’s a part of me that i see as important to endure as a mother. A pain not to be confused with suffering but a transforming moment worthy to experience.

With the help of my husband and midwives I literally had to conquer one contraction at a time. Being the toughest labor I had yet to experience I felt fear that I wouldn’t be able to make it. It’s in that place that you discover an innate ability within yourself to reach to a place where you don’t even realize exists until you are in it.